Just doing what I'm told

This is their words, not mine.
100% true story.

The wise ones tell me to
Write. To use my voice.
The morning angels waken me with
"A buyer is coming!" (We are selling our house)
And
"Destroy the patriarchy!"
The coven says
"Predators hide in plain sight" but
"His eye is on the sparrow"
And "we're the right people for this time."
"Good will overcome darkness"
if we all shine.
(That last line was mine :)

Life is Pain

If you don't understand why a person would be so upset about losing an election, please consider this one example. For many people I have talked to, Trump is a visceral reminder of their abuser, bully, unstable parent, or tyrant boss. That your fellow Americans seemed to either love or be indifferent to Trump's abusive and hateful words against any "loser" group feels like a personal attack.

I realize now that living without fear is a privilege and choice. As a white, heterosexual, educated, mother with a stable income; I am not at particular risk.  What keeps me up at night is the fear and pain of people specifically, directly attacked or threatened by President Elect Trump (and now his Cabinet). Worse, is the fired up, vocal and aggressive groups and individuals who are actual physical threats to minority groups.  If you think I am making up or exaggerating any of the above, I will send you direct quotes from Trump, his appointees, and his supporters for you to review. Ask yourself, "if someone said this about my mom or child, would I be OK with it?"

I had this going through my head a few days ago after viewing social media posts with the basic  "Libtard Crybaby Entitled Bitches" theme. YOU MOCK MY PAIN!

Then I had to find the full scene because clearly 2 seconds of Princess Bride will never do, and it was a revelation. The next line from the Dread Pirate Roberts is classic and timely. Liberals, LIFE IS PAIN!  

We did not hear the pain of people so desperate and angry that they would elect Trump. We mocked them. We white people did not hear the pain of people of color who have been telling us for years that in America not all lives matter, and the elites who benefit include Democrats. We dismissed them as "not me".

"I died that day!" insists Princess Buttercup. Please Trump voters, please understand that for many of us, who we thought America was did die that day.

To everyone trying to make it through holidays with relatives on the "other side", remember that anger is often fear is often pain. Ask questions and then listen. I am not asking you to change your mind. Just don't mock, just don't dismiss. Try to listen to understand. Not just to reply. Breathe and stuff your face with food (or whatever other coping mechanisms you have).

Whatever happens

Whatever tomorrow holds I will not live in fear.
I will continue to love my family and strangers who love a man I consider to be a master class teacher in privilege, bold face lying and denying, bragging, inflammatory language, degrading and undisciplined behavior, and showmanship over actual ideas. His supporters think I am voting for a cold hearted bitch that should be locked up, and that she has my vote because she is a woman. But I am voting for her because I generally agree with her policy positions. Also, I am a woman who will not tolerate a man who feels entitled to grab women's pussies because of his celebrity. At all. Call me old fashioned. What would he feel entitled to as president for heaven sake?!
Clearly, we see the world in completely different terms.
I will not be afraid of our difference or I am a hypocrite.

Whatever tomorrow holds I will not live in fear, but I no doubt feel it.
The weight of so much unleashed racism, misogyny, and erosion of our democracy is no joke. I refuse to let it ruin my joy or steal my optimism, because Fuck you, that's why. But seriously, I will not sit in angry or hateful or callous judgment of anyone.  That is a surrender I will not suffer.

No matter what happens tomorrow,  we need all the People for the planet to act as if we want to avoid the true and inescapable disaster of climate change.
I will not be afraid. To speak my mind and call out injustice or to be called out on my own ignorance and bullshit.
Bring it on! We got work to do.
I will never be afraid to be seen as a nasty woman. I will never be afraid to be free.
Fear got us to this place and only love and listening will get us out.
Tomorrow belongs to my children and I will not let fear shape their hearts.

Mother

Children will wreck your life.
You will know instant karma.
And what do we know about karma?
It's going to get you.
By the short hairs.
Cornered.

Chest and ego pounding to
maintain dominance over
a situation under your responsibility but not
entirely (or at all) under your control.

An innocent child now mirroring
your bad habit
or attitude
or language.
or all three.
DAMMIT!

Children's hearts,
little baby hearts,
are complete and whole
in miniature perfection.
The development of the heart is not measured in size
but in openness and generosity.
Your child will have you beat in this.
Hands down winners.
You will be cracked open by the trust of this little person.

A brain, however,
is quite literally a work in progress until we die.
And we got time on our side,
which equals experience
which means
we don't utterly loose our minds over NOT THE GREEN PLATE!!!!!!!
and know the difference between Santa and the guy in the red suit and bell asking for money.
But you still don't win because children
literally don't know what you are talking about.
You will be humbled by the uselessness of your reasons and
how too little sleep and too much noise make you REALLY FREAK OUT!!!!!
and it might feel a bit like loosing your mind.

Children will wreck your life where you believed
you were a peaceful person by nature
(turns out you were rested and not provoked )
The life where your heart was yours to give away and take back

Now your heart has a beat in another
big heart, little brain person
surrounded by sharp objects
careless people and actual evil.

Your whole life exploded
by your love
by your failures
by your surrender
by your gratitude for this tiny human
that perfectly wrecked your life.
By making you
Mama
by making you
Mother.