Trigger warning this is a poem dealing with rape
If you have a problem with trigger warnings
Are ok with with “spoiler alerts”
because, come on, that can really ruin someone's favorite show
Then you need to realize that
you are getting upset that
someone else gets truly, really upset about
Something actually terrible.
And you can tell me again about how inconvenienced you are... but I don’t give a shit.
Your irritation about a culture of coddling may be relevant
but that is actually a separate conversation about
Resiliency and anxiety and
parenting in a sick culture.
Back to the truth
All kinds of women. Every kind of woman.
Around the world women, in every town and square mile, women
Have been sexually abused, violated, assaulted, and murdered by a man.
Most likely by someone they know. Trusted.
Stop for a minute and consider: How many violated women do you know?
Count on your fingers.
Count on your fingers.
I have enough I end up with two fists, as I pass 10 and put them down to track.
If you only know a few or none, trust me you do. They just haven't told you.
There was that one time that the missing and then found dead woman
Was a girl you used to sneak out with
when you were just young enough for it to be mostly innocent.
She had perfect bow lips and a mole right next to them.
A perfect foil for the profanity and vulgarity coming out of her mouth.
And make you laugh till it hurt and you couldn’t breath.
But he came for her after years of perfecting his violence
on so many other women.
He smashed her and dug a hole
and laid her in it
because he could.
Because no one had been able to stop him for decades of abuse.
And not one person was surprised he had finally killed a woman.
Indeed, he had help of two other men digging her hole and pawning her vacuum cleaner afterward.
So let’s get back to the truth that
Instead of judging people with “triggers”.
How about we focus on things like how we are going to stop
the assaulting and murdering of women
For being there
For being vulnerable
For being a child
For being trusting
For fighting back
For “asking for it”
For not conforming
For telling the truth.
For his honor
Really any reason will do
You KNOW this is not an exaggeration.
American culture is one in which raping and murdering women
sustains several spin off shows
That have been running for years
that are solely dedicated
to portraying the rape and murder of women.
If you roll your eyes at “rape culture” talk, ask yourself
If you were flipping through channels on a Saturday night
how long would it be before you saw the naked, dead body of a woman?
I am not overly sensitive. You are blind
You want to worry about pampered millennials
We need to be deeply engaged in seeing and transforming our violent, earth killing society.
So, please consider to start that
that your incredulousness is
A confused response to
someone else making the rules
about what we will take offense to and
what we will allow and
what we will protect
and what we will defend.
It is true. You are being threatened.
Your space is getting smaller.
For every seat filled by an Other,
is one less seat for People Like You.
Less elbow room,
Fewer boardroom seats and corner offices.
All the places, all the branches,
ALL the examples of leadership and power
Will be filled with people of diverse backgrounds, and genders, and religions, and ethnicities and identities.
That includes white folks and men, but definitely fewer of them.
You are going to have to DEAL. WITH. IT.
You might feel like you are under attack.
But it's not “you”, its not so literal!
Don’t be so sensitive! Truth and facts are fake news.
And don’t worry, you will not need to bargain or negotiate.
We are not playing for your “tolerance”
We are not waiting for your terms.
we “can't we all just get along” when what
You really mean is
“don't talk about what you need and what you want to change
because that makes it tense for me”
When silence is death
We are not waiting for your permission to talk.
Or approval of how we protest.
Or what we wear
Or who we fuck
Or who we love
Or what we resist.
If you don't like all this political correctness
and claim a lack of grace and forgiveness
“he meant well” or
“well I didn't mean it like that!”
Ask yourself, don’t you really just want that to be the end of the conversation
and the beginning of absolution?
But what you need to recognize is that
no one owes you those things,
and, in fact,
people are precisely done
worrying about your feelings and comfort
over their own liberation and dignity.
Yes, we are done pretending you are the most important person in the room.
And that feels hard, I get it, I really do.
Consider yourself warned.