Life is Pain

If you don't understand why a person would be so upset about losing an election, please consider this one example. For many people I have talked to, Trump is a visceral reminder of their abuser, bully, unstable parent, or tyrant boss. That your fellow Americans seemed to either love or be indifferent to Trump's abusive and hateful words against any "loser" group feels like a personal attack.

I realize now that living without fear is a privilege and choice. As a white, heterosexual, educated, mother with a stable income; I am not at particular risk.  What keeps me up at night is the fear and pain of people specifically, directly attacked or threatened by President Elect Trump (and now his Cabinet). Worse, is the fired up, vocal and aggressive groups and individuals who are actual physical threats to minority groups.  If you think I am making up or exaggerating any of the above, I will send you direct quotes from Trump, his appointees, and his supporters for you to review. Ask yourself, "if someone said this about my mom or child, would I be OK with it?"

I had this going through my head a few days ago after viewing social media posts with the basic  "Libtard Crybaby Entitled Bitches" theme. YOU MOCK MY PAIN!

Then I had to find the full scene because clearly 2 seconds of Princess Bride will never do, and it was a revelation. The next line from the Dread Pirate Roberts is classic and timely. Liberals, LIFE IS PAIN!  

We did not hear the pain of people so desperate and angry that they would elect Trump. We mocked them. We white people did not hear the pain of people of color who have been telling us for years that in America not all lives matter, and the elites who benefit include Democrats. We dismissed them as "not me".

"I died that day!" insists Princess Buttercup. Please Trump voters, please understand that for many of us, who we thought America was did die that day.

To everyone trying to make it through holidays with relatives on the "other side", remember that anger is often fear is often pain. Ask questions and then listen. I am not asking you to change your mind. Just don't mock, just don't dismiss. Try to listen to understand. Not just to reply. Breathe and stuff your face with food (or whatever other coping mechanisms you have).

Whatever happens

Whatever tomorrow holds I will not live in fear.
I will continue to love my family and strangers who love a man I consider to be a master class teacher in privilege, bold face lying and denying, bragging, inflammatory language, degrading and undisciplined behavior, and showmanship over actual ideas. His supporters think I am voting for a cold hearted bitch that should be locked up, and that she has my vote because she is a woman. But I am voting for her because I generally agree with her policy positions. Also, I am a woman who will not tolerate a man who feels entitled to grab women's pussies because of his celebrity. At all. Call me old fashioned. What would he feel entitled to as president for heaven sake?!
Clearly, we see the world in completely different terms.
I will not be afraid of our difference or I am a hypocrite.

Whatever tomorrow holds I will not live in fear, but I no doubt feel it.
The weight of so much unleashed racism, misogyny, and erosion of our democracy is no joke. I refuse to let it ruin my joy or steal my optimism, because Fuck you, that's why. But seriously, I will not sit in angry or hateful or callous judgment of anyone.  That is a surrender I will not suffer.

No matter what happens tomorrow,  we need all the People for the planet to act as if we want to avoid the true and inescapable disaster of climate change.
I will not be afraid. To speak my mind and call out injustice or to be called out on my own ignorance and bullshit.
Bring it on! We got work to do.
I will never be afraid to be seen as a nasty woman. I will never be afraid to be free.
Fear got us to this place and only love and listening will get us out.
Tomorrow belongs to my children and I will not let fear shape their hearts.