Trigger warning

Trigger warning this is a poem dealing with rape

If you have a problem with trigger warnings

but

Are ok with with “spoiler alerts”

because, come on, that can really ruin someone's favorite show

Then you need to realize that

you are getting upset that

someone else gets truly, really upset about

Something actually terrible.

And you can tell me again about how inconvenienced you are... but I don’t give a shit.

Your irritation about a culture of coddling may be relevant

but that is actually a separate conversation about

Resiliency and anxiety and

parenting in a sick culture.

Back to the truth

that

So

Many

Women.

All kinds of women. Every kind of woman.

Around the world women, in every town and square mile, women

Have been sexually abused, violated, assaulted, and murdered by a man.

Most likely by someone they know. Trusted.

Stop for a minute and consider:  How many violated women do you know?
Count on your fingers.

I have enough I end up with two fists, as I pass 10 and put them down to track.

If you only know a few or none, trust me you do. They just haven't told you.

There was that one time that the missing and then found dead woman

Was a girl you used to sneak out with

when you were just young enough for it to be mostly innocent.

She had perfect bow lips and a mole right next to them.

A perfect foil for the profanity and vulgarity coming out of her mouth.

And make you laugh till it hurt and you couldn’t breath.

But he came for her after years of perfecting his violence

on so many other women.

He smashed her and dug a hole

and laid her in it

because he could.

Because no one had been able to stop him for decades of abuse.

And not one person was surprised he had finally killed a woman.

Indeed, he had help of two other men digging her hole and pawning her vacuum cleaner afterward.

So let’s get back to the truth that

Instead of judging people with “triggers”.

How about we focus on things like how we are going to stop

the assaulting and murdering of women

For leaving

For staying

For being there

For being vulnerable

For being a child

For being trusting

For fighting back

For  “asking for it”

For not conforming

For concealing.

For telling the truth.

For refusing

For money

For his honor

for entertainment…

Really any reason will do

You KNOW this is not an exaggeration.

American culture is one in which raping and murdering women

sustains several spin off shows

That have been running for years

that are solely dedicated

to portraying the rape and murder of women.

If you roll your eyes at “rape culture” talk, ask yourself   

If you were flipping through channels on a Saturday night

how long would it be before you saw the naked, dead body of a woman?

I am not overly sensitive. You are blind

You want to worry about  pampered millennials

We need to be deeply engaged in seeing and transforming our violent, earth killing society.

So, please consider to start that

that your incredulousness is

A confused response to

someone else making the rules

about what we will take offense to and

what we will allow and

what we will protect

and what we will defend.

It is true. You are being threatened.

Your space is getting smaller.

For every seat filled by an Other,

is one less seat for People Like You.

Less airtime,

Less elbow room,

Fewer  boardroom seats and corner offices.

All the places, all the branches,

ALL the examples of leadership and power

Will be filled with people of diverse backgrounds, and genders, and religions, and ethnicities and identities.

That includes white folks and men, but definitely fewer of them.

You are going to have to DEAL. WITH. IT.

You might feel like you are under attack.

But it's not “you”, its not so literal!

Don’t be so sensitive! Truth and facts are fake news.

And don’t worry, you will not need to bargain or negotiate.

We are not playing for your “tolerance”

We are not waiting for your terms.

we “can't we all just get along” when what

You really mean is

“don't talk about what you need and what you want to change

because that makes it tense for me”

When silence is death

We are not waiting for your permission to talk.

Or approval of how we protest.

Or what we wear

Or who we fuck

Or who we love

Or what we resist.

If you don't like all this political correctness

and claim a lack of grace and forgiveness

“he meant well” or

“well I didn't mean it like that!”

Ask yourself, don’t you really just want that to be the end of the conversation

and the beginning of absolution?

But what you need to recognize is that

no one owes you those things,

and, in fact,

people are precisely done

worrying about your feelings and comfort

over their own liberation and dignity.

Yes, we are done pretending you are the most important person in the room.

And that feels hard, I get it, I really do.

Consider yourself warned.